p o s i t i v i t y.

I can sum this blog up in 3 words, love your imperfections.






...not really sure if I should or want to elaborate...

That's What's Up

So this is just a my life update on where I'm at right now mentally, physically, emotionally. I personally believe I need a change of scenery. I have thought of some options for myself, one of them by the end of the summer I will live at my dad's in Huntington Beach and go to a junior college out there. Also, plan to get a part time job while there hopefully. I have pretty much told everyone I possibly can about this but in case you still do not know, I did apply for a cruise line and I still hope to get that job but it could be up to 6 months until I hear from them. If I do get the job that would be life changing, I could be placed on any of their ships thousands of miles away from all of this. I have thought about interning at places, I just need to type up a legit resume, but it is also something I am not sure I want to pursue at least not at this time.

Technically, I guess you could say I am still unsure of what I want to do with my life. I do still plan on having my own venue, but I need a steady income job to save up so that I can quit working for the man and just run my venue, haha. I do not excel in any special skills and I am not talented at anything so it has been a struggle to find my niche. I might want to look into journalism, but possibly still be in the music business such as writing, reviewing, interviews,etc. Frankly, it gets very discouraging at times.

I recently lost a loved one this year so I am still dealing with those emotions from time to time. I also need to start taking better care of my body because that is draining me emotionally. I continue to dream constantly and I still wish that I did not dream at all it's also very draining and sometimes disturbing.

Just so this entry does not end on the downside, I have recently felt it necessary to say that I am blessed to know all of you. Throughout the years I have met some of the most amazing, diverse, inspiring, random, hilarious, caring, people and it is all mostly from going to shows and sharing common friends. I am thankful to know you and thank you for the memories thus far. Let's make s'more!

Ranting

Lately, there is more and more attention on young teenagers getting pregnant and it is truly irritating me. It started with Jamie Lynn Spears and her fiasco. After that it somehow made it okay to make a tv series out of the topic, Secret Life of an American Teenager. Now, MTV is going to have some documentary about the topic too.

It bothers me because I feel that all this is really doing is telling more and more kids it is okay to have sex at their age, just don't get pregnant. I am not saying it does not happen or that it should be ignored, but the networks are doing it for ratings and not to actually help them understand or learn anything. There are just certain ways you should go about situations and I do not like how this one is being handled. Increased pressure gets put on younger girls every day and that sickens me. I already feel like I need to have a "serious talk" with my little 13 year old sister, which ultimately blows my mind.

All this really comes down to is I hate the media and society.

Humuhumunukunukuapua'a.

Part III.

I almost didn't do this, but I figured might as well since I already mentioned it in the previous post. I'll try and just account for major things happening.

I went with my dad, his girlfriend, and my sister(yes, i have a sister). The first day nothing really happened other than the cruise ship misplaced my dad's luggage but was found later that night. It's a good thing that happened cause it gave my dad a chance to talk to staff about setting something up to propose to his girlfriend, Vivian on board the ship.

The next day we were on one of the islands went to an aquarium, at first I wasn't really stoked on it. I thought that's nothing new, I could go to an aquarium back home. As we started walking through it, no two aquariums are the exact same and I enjoyed myself and bought my first souvenir for my cousin there! This night was THEE night. After I did multiple talks with the Assistant Cruise Director, Tim on the phone it was all set! This was a first for the cruise they were just as excited as we were.

The proposal went down like this. The theater on the ship was having a show about all the different Hawaiian dances on the islands. Near the end of the show they ask for volunteers, that's where we rigged it so they would pick my dad ask him who he came with and call Vivian up on stage. He sang part of a song to her that he always sings to her, then got down on one knee and popped the question. It was so awesome to see my dad so freakin' nervous haha. She said yes by the way :) After that the whole cruise either witnessed or heard about it and we were well known on the ship. This was all caught on video by the way. I also got pulled up on stage very awkward indeed.

Excursions we did was watching the sunrise (got up 3am their time) it was beautiful and well worth it. Okay wait, side track story! My sister, Alex and I were in this room all by ourselves looking at the sunrise so I started playing some Nick Swardson (stand up comedian). Needless to say, right when a bunch of people walked in his joke loudly said, "Suck this dick motherfucker!" I found it funny, my dad not so much.
Other excursions were kayaking, horrible experience, and snorkeling my favorite by far. We took a small tour on one of the islands and that was also a favorite cause it wasn't affected by tourists it was really all local oriented.

This cruise was amazing, I haven't felt that happy and myself in a really long time. I enjoyed the trivia games of Golden Girls, Friends, and SHOUT OUT THAT MOVIE which I'm really good at. I think I made passengers laugh along the way and that felt great. They had an intense dodgeball tournament and great entertainment every night. I loved this cruise so much I will be applying for it tomorrow wish me luck.

P.s. I just remembered, I sang "I Will Survive," on the stage in front of the whole pool deck. Also was hit on by a 14 or 15 year old aussie boy with emo hair, braces, and was into hip hop. FOOD WAS AMAZING.

Thanks for reading! <3

Mahalo.

Hawai'i Part II. (pictures only, words will be in Part III)

I overdressed on accident on the ship for dinner pretty much every night. Pictures to prove it. I think I am missing a night or something and the last one is of my haircut I had got the day before we left for Hawai'i.

I AM missing a night I refused to take pictures the last night because of my awesome sunburn&bug bites. :(

Aloha.

Don't really feel very wordy right now so consider this Hawai'i Part I. enjoy the pictures. If you follow me on twitter you've seen most, if not all of these ones. more to come next time.

This is what journals are for...ranting. ha!

Friendship is used loosely these days like the word, sorry and the phrase, I love you. If you have known someone five minutes and realize you both have been to Disneyland or something absurd like that, should not mean, Oh Em Gee WE'RE BEST FRIENDS! which is what I see a lot these days. maybe that's why I have very few friends because I expect so much from them and only few have delivered. I try to be a really good friend. I wish I were everyone's best friend but I guess that is difficult when the definitions do not match up. I also try and find the good in everyone, so if I can't find the good in you that says something!

It was a rant for a bulletin, decided to post it here instead. toodles.

Why So Serious?

This entry has nothing to with the dark knight just so you know. I just thought it would be an appropriate title, haha. Well, lately my entries have been pretty inside heavy stuff about me so I wanted to lighten the mood(insert Goofy laugh here). Anyhoogles, here's some random things that I can think of.

When I was still losing my baby teeth, I was at school during recess and my fat ass loved those strawberry twinkies so I bit into it and ended up biting something crunchy,hard. I thought to myself, last time I checked twinkies were soft and squishy...Yeah, well it was my tooth! And my mouth filled with blood. Needless to say, never ate a twinky again hahaha. I also lost another tooth eating a brownie. It had nuts in it so I thought it was one, I was wrong. Oh, AND another time I lost my tooth in a sticky ass milk dud it just sucked it right out my gums. Gah, what a fatty.

Now my teeth look like this:


Oh, there's something I want to try soon. I want to write down a list of things I find hysterically funny and every day read, watch, listen, or whatever is on that list every day so I laugh really really hard. I'm weird I know, you should know this by now too. Actually, you probably should have realized that the first time we met, mhm.

To generalize some of the things I like and will always be happy to get as a gift or topics I would always love to bring up in conversation are scrabble, rubber duckies, star wars, harry potter, and nightmare before christmas.

Something you might not know about me, I like rhinos. I think they are swell. Which reminds me I want to go back to the Wild Aminal Park! Yes, AMINAL it's more fun to say. :)

That should make you sick of hearing about me for now, but I already know my next post and it's a doozy! ta-ta's for now!

Dirty Mind, Clean Vagina.

I am a very straight forward person, I will not beat around the bush, do lame hinting, or anything of the sort. On that note, I'm waiting until I get married. When I say that I hear in my head, "I will be alone for the rest of my life."

Some of the reactions I get when I tell people about this, are they think I'm crazy(also because I do not "tickle my own fancy." so to speak), others respect my decision, and I would say the rest are indifferent, or they like a challenge, but fail miserably. One of the reasons I am waiting until marriage is because I want that guy to know I'm just for him, pure and untouched, I would say that's a gift I know most girls can't offer these days. Ha, and I would tell that guy we have the rest of our lives to practice! ;) ahahaha but I digress.

Recently, when I told someone they asked if I was super religious and it was weird cause my answer was no. I was raised around Christian and Catholic influences, but things change. I made this choice for me, because it's how I feel I can respect myself and to show it can still be done in this day and age.
I know if I end up having really strong feelings for a guy thoughts might run through my mind, but I will deal with that situation when it approaches and only then.

So back to my first little paragraph, if I end up alone for the rest of my life, so be it. Awhile back I decided I am completely fine with being alone. Basically, I'm alone, but not lonely. I love my solitude.

Every day

This is one of my favorite poems by my favorite poet Emily Dickinson. I think I am the only person I know that likes to read and write poetry. I know a lot of people actually hated it in high school. This poem expresses how I feel and how I try to live my life every day. If I can just make the most minuscule difference in someone else's life or day...that would mean everything to me. I love to just be there for people when they need someone most or show that there are still decent people in the world that will do nice things for a complete stranger. Just talking about all of this really makes me want to watch Pay It Forward(good movie). In a nutshell, I really just love to help. Most of you should know that much about me.

Poetry has been in my life for as long as I can remember. When I was younger I wrote poems about my mom which she still has. In junior high I remember writing my first "serious" poem about silence. In junior high I started to write a lot. I have written some of the weirdest poems ever! When I think about those ones I also think they could become silly poems for kids. I tend not to share my poems for the most part because they are very personal to me. I have shared a selected few in the past. I wrote one instantly after I found out my best friend had passed away in 2003, you can read it here. If you want to see some others leave a comment or message me. I guess poetry is my outlet for whatever it is I may be feeling. If something ever happens to me I would want someone to locate all my poems and possibly publish them in a book for people in my life that would want them or people in general who knows.

Even though I might not have a hand to hold, there will always be a pen.

FAQ.1

One of the most frequently asked questions I get is...Why are you vegetarian? I figured I could write this for the ones who are too shy to ask or just forget easily. I do not mind getting asked this question either so please do not take this in a complaining tone.

On January 1, 2007, Amanda and I chose to become vegetarians "cold turkey." It was to try something new and to hopefully be healthier. Just by doing this, I opened my mouth to new tasty things I would have never known existed. I also hear that people believe it to be too hard, I know the feeling I thought I could never let go of chicken but it was not hard at all. I would say you will never really know unless you try. Later on I personally chose to educate myself on what goes on (i.e. factory farms) and after seeing those videos I knew I could never go back. I am not one to preach, but I am more than happy to answer any questions if asked. To each their own is how I feel. I also feel respect my choices and I will respect yours. Follow-up questions to my vegetarianism are Do you eat fish,seafood? and Did you lose weight? My answer is no to both. I do not eat fish or any kind of seafood and if anyone does they should not be calling themselves vegetarian the correct term is pescatarian. Becoming vegetarian does not automatically mean you will lose weight. I live off of bean and cheese burritos not the healthiest thing!

I hope one day I could attempt to be vegan, but I am definitely in no rush. Vegan is a pretty serious commitment and I want to be as smart about it as possible. I already have low iron so I really need to take care of my body properly if I were to be vegan.

I honestly love being vegetarian and have passed my 2 year mark and am on my way to 3! :)

To end this entry I will use an excerpt from stand up comedian Jim Gaffigan that makes me laugh so hopefully you will too.

You always here vegetarians saying "Oh, I haven't had meat in 5 years."
Ya well, I haven't had a banana in a month, you don't see me bragging about it.

f00d, d00d.

As strange as this might sound I have this plan to lose weight, just so I can gain it back. Let me give you deets on why. As a birthday and Christmas gift, my dad has decided to take me, himself, his girlfriend, and my sister on a cruise to Hawaii! Here is where my plan comes in, I want that luxury of pigging out on the cruise especially because I heard there will be a 24hr buffet! (MY UTOPIA) For the next two and a half months I want to lose some weight so I won't worry about gaining excess weight on the cruise I will just be back to what I am right now.

The reason I'm typing about this is because if you know me, I love my food and I am thee least healthiest person ever. I ask for a favor, if we hang out within the next couple months and eating/snacking is involved don't be afraid to call me out on it and say NO KRISTA K! or fight me because I don't want to give up my doughnut. I would greatly appreciate this and if you have any suggestions what so ever on how I can lose weight in interesting ways I'm open to them. I have no will power to consistently exercise it bores me, I'd rather do something fun and not realize I'm exercising haha. Considering today was the super bowl... I would be down to play a good game of football if we can get enough people! I loves me some football!

That's it for now I suppose, thanks for reading.

A Love Like This...

I know that these are only movies and television shows, but I can't help but dream about having a love like this. Deep down, no one really knows that I am a hopeless romantic and I love and appreciate the little cute things a guy would do for me. I am definitely not that girl that thinks we should celebrate our 3 week anniversary and bullsh*t like that though. Pictures say it all.

Nostalgia.

In case you do not know the meaning of nostalgia...
Nostalgia-a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.

That is definitely what I have been feeling since Friday. Friday me and a few other junior high friends went to visit our junior high. This isn't just a junior high for me. I have twelves years of memories at this place. To see my old friends and school was bittersweet. It was so great to catch up, remember the good times, but at the same time I knew things had changed and the school was not how I exactly remembered it to be. Nonetheless, it was a lot of fun to see the very few faces we knew that still worked there. I suggest people do this if they can or want to.

That's all for right now, this week was top notch.

ADDED PICS:

P.s. One of these boys was my very first boyfriend. I'll leave it up to you to guess which one. :)

14 eh?

Hello again. First off I need to say I'm very proud of the guys of LOUD& OBNOXIOUS for getting on Karmaloop's site under their Kazbah section that is now up and running with their clothing line including that Fast Times Tee we've all come to know and love/hate.

Now, more me time. Lately that topic of tattoos has been coming up. I remember posting over a year ago maybe near two now, saying I was going wait and see if tattoos are still something I want in a year and that I was not just buying into the hype at the time. Apparently, I still want them, haha. I have over ten ideas for them it's getting ridiculous. One of the more serious and very meaningful tattoos I would like is one dedicated to my best friend Sean, that passed away in 2003. I struggled for 5 years on what specifically to get for him. I'm settling down on this idea...

After his unexpected death, our school planted an orange tree in memory of him. (orange was his favorite color, just like me) I want to see if this tree is tattoo-able here's a not so good picture.

Do you have/want tattoos? Answer my poll! Am I the only one thinking about them still? Hmm. I will more than likely post once more before the week is over. Happy hump day....GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, while you're at it get mine out too :P

Definition

I have decided to make this blog and be as open as I can with the people I am lucky to have met in my life and that have some how continued to stay in my life. If you know me even the slightest, you know how awkwardly social I can be. This is just another way of you getting to know me and still letting me be me and it does not even need to be brought up in conversation.

I went through a realization period and came to the decision the only thing I should be focusing on is myself. I need to put me first for a change otherwise I do not know what path I may go down. Specifically, I want to focus on improving myself in all aspects. I want to do well in school, become more independent, learn, learn, learn, smile, and laugh while doing all of these. I want to make sure I surround myself with kindhearted, inspiring people. I want to continue to appreciate the small things. I need to make sure the people in my life know I care about them.

This is pretty much where I am at right now in my life. I am thankful for everything and everyone thus far that has got me to the point I'm at today.

I thank you for reading any of my entries in advance, it means more to me then you will ever know.